Friday, December 28, 2012

Its that time yet again.....

First of all, I hope all my readers had a fabulous Christmas and its time to now look to the new year. Step away from the left over pavlova!

So Christmas has been and gone and I don't even want to begin to think about the food that has gone in my mouth. It may have been healthy but oh lordy there was definitely way too much! Not to mention the amazing desserts that we are tempted with during this celebration week.

So what brings me to write up in my blog again? Well I was going to just start anew but then I thought why do that when my whole weight-loss battle is within this blog. Why start somewhere new when the story should follow on the same page as my other struggles. So here I am....reviving my blog once again. This time however, my posts may be shorter since I will need to fit both blogging and uni in come March. I can do this!

So with the New Year on its way and for the first time in 7 rounds of 12WBT I sat out, life has been somewhat different. I have learnt so much from my time with 12WBT and I thank Michelle and the 12WBT team for giving me the tools I needed to go alone. Considering I had spent many a round donating money rather than getting of my butt and #jfdi when it all boils down, Michelle has changed my way of thinking. I may fall off the rails but it certainly isn't as damaging as it could have been. I more so just hover with my weight. I gain a kilo, I lose a kilo.....but I am over the yo-yo dieting and I am ready to actually look and feel good about myself.

I am awaiting the arrival of something new, something apparently amazing and once here I will share with you all my next stage of my journey. I have so much exercise equipment at my disposal here (treadmill, cross trainer, weights) but I am still yet to find that one thing that I enjoy doing. That one thing that I wont mind getting out of bed 30 minutes earlier in order to accomplish. I read back on my blogs from this time last year and I was in a very different head space. I was getting up at 5am to do a 1 hour walk/run. I was actually enjoying it. Then for some reason the little light clicked off and I was back to being a lounge lizard.

NO MORE!!

Its time to take charge of 2013 and make it the year where it all happens. I say that every year but I think this one is different. If I am to be a healthy role model to my children then there is no more saying tomorrow. It starts today! I will do a full stats post up over the next couple of days in order to put my new plan in place. I hope you will all be there to follow me through the highs and lows of my next journey.

You can follow me on facebook now too :) https://www.facebook.com/Cathperko

Mwah! xoxo

Cath


Friday, April 27, 2012

Where have I been and where am I going!

Hey there lovely people!

Its been a week since my first dental work and only 4 days since my last visit. Mind you I am getting sick of having to eat all the runny foods. Its totally not enjoyable at all! I managed some sour dough bread in my soup last night but its still hard to concentrate on chewing when both sides of the mouth are affected and you can only chew with the little amount you have left in the front of your mouth. Pain is getting better and I finally moved off the codeine and onto just regular panadol and nurofen, The codeine did keep the pain at bay for longer though but I prefer to not be on that stuff for too long!

I am still struggling each day to make up the calories needed and seem to sit constantly on around 1000. Making me sad cause I know what the body will do if this keeps up but I am trying. I am however not hungry either so its hard to just keep forcing myself to keep eating when there really seems to be no room left. I even cut back on my protein shakes yesterday but still the same tally and way too much junk food. I even went for some KFC potato and gravy......I hate the stuff and havent been to KFC in years!! I will admit though that it did feel nice to eat something remotely normal for a change! Going to try fish again tonight and maybe some potato/sweet potato mash with it. You dont realise how much you miss food until you cant eat it. 

Those who think that I am in a great position to be losing weight are very wrong. I am in no way happy about having to drink all my meals and I am longing for that chewing action once again. I know I cant rush the healing process and the last thing I want to do is cause further infection in my mouth so just taking it day by day and one step at a time. I am really looking forward to my next visit to the dentist......not getting the last 6 teeth out from the top but to be finally getting my smile back! A few visits to the denture clinic to go before then though.

So we are in the final 2 weeks of 12WBT and for me I have had a tough one. I would say this has been my toughest round yet. You wait though till I get my new smile and new found confidence! I think the world will need to watch out cause Cath is on a mission and that mission is to be heard and to be known. Not just on facebook or on a forum......like really known. The struggle to make friends will be gone as I will no longer have shame and omg the most amazing thing is I cant wait to go out with hubby and just be us again for a little while and not mum and dad. 

This has been a tough bumpy ride but with each round of 12WBT I do, I learn something so big and new about myself. I have come so far since that very first post (which I still have) from my very first round back in 2010 from the 12WBT forums. So much has changed and I have grown from that person who was in a dark corner and felt like I had nothing to live for. I had tears reading that post yesterday as I remembered just how sad and low I was feeling and how the whole world seemed to be caving in on me. I am a long way from that original person and I still have a long way to go but I know that I can get there and finally, I can see the little glimmer of what I think is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Much love to you all

Cath xoxo

Update Time!


Just a quick update for those that have been following along with my teething problems.

Went into the denture clinic on Thursday and had an impression done! Woohoo something has started. Was backed up Friday by a visit to the dentist........

Needless to say 4 teeth out and I am feeling a tad like crap! Still in good spirits though but have more to come out tomorrow. Its all on the trek though to get to a good place as well as being the final piece in my weight loss puzzle.

So I have spent the weekend on protein shakes and anything liquidy although I braved some scrambled eggs and a cup a soup today and about to try a small amount of chicken tonight. I am so hungry and although protein shakes with some flaxseed oil are healthy, id do anything for a juicy steak and salad.....lol.

So thought I would update you all as to why I may have been or may become a little quiet over these last few and coming few days. I am suppose to rest and the medication I am on makes me sleepy and I know the body heals quicker when at rest too.

Take care all and I will keep looking in on you all

Cath xoxo

Sunday, April 15, 2012

When all seems like its a downhill run we pick ourselves back up again!

21 days since my last blog....you can tell uni is back cant you wink So hard to keep up with 5 units as well as enjoy the forums and blog about whats going on. Perhaps though if I had been blogging I would have gotten through the tough time a bit easier.

So how has everyone been? For me the last 9 weeks have been up and down, high and low. It is getting better now though and I can finally see that little light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes life throws us a curve-ball and its how we deal with it that means the most. Needless to say I think I have done pretty well. Although my weight has yo-yo'd in the middle area due to circumstances beyond my control, things are getting back to normal health wise. Mentally though is a different matter but I am dealing with that also now.

As many would know I am in need of some pretty major dental work. I have been on the wait list for public help for well over 12 months and finally my number was up just over a month ago. My first appointment lasted all of 5 minutes as they looked in my mouth and said, "we need xrays". All good I thought so went and got those done immediately as asked......when I returned, the next appointment wasn't for another 3 weeks! They ended up giving me a shorter appointment a week later......1 hour before I was due to leave for that appointment, they call and tell me the dentist is ill and they need to reschedule my appointment.....fine I thought but nope 3 more weeks to wait!! 3 WEEKS!!! WTH!!!

I was devastated.....I spoke with hubby who told me to call a private dentist. He was willing to do anything in order to see me smile again as it has been all too long and after a massive breakdown where there was lots of tears, he finally realised how much I had been holding in and dealing with. I mean it is at the point where I don't even know why my family can love me and treat me normal when I see nothing like normal when I look in the mirror. I feel like a freak and that is being honest. So back onto the story.....rang the private dentist who could get me in 2 days later. They asked me to get my xrays from the public dentist. Hubby came with me (thank god!). Anyhow, they refused to hand them over. Told me they were property of the Base Hospital. ......well you wouldn't believe what came next....the lady said "we can get you an appointment for 11am tomorrow! Holy crap where did that appointment come from?

So after all that the appointment went well till they told me that yes we need to extract all your top teeth but then you will need to go onto another list to get your dentures made up and that list is about 12 months long!!! WTF!!!12 months wait without any top teeth.....I THINK NOT!! I would rather have the stumps I have now then nothing at all! I asked them if I can get the teeth extracted publically then get the dentures made privately. I know that the major cost in NSW is getting the teeth pulled so to get that part taken out may just make the denture part affordable by us. Anyhow, after being told about different ideas with the dentures (immediates etc), the appointment was over and off to the denture clinic I went. New appointment for dental work to start is Friday 20th April at 8.10am! The denture clinic couldn't get me in until the 11th May but thats ok we have a timeline even if it is 2 months right!!

In amongst all that, the public dentist mentioned that I should go for a check up etc with my local GP to see if I qualified for an EPC? care plan voucher. That appointment was last Wednesday. She went through everything on my record but there was nothing. Funny thing was that if I was still smoking, I would have qualified immediately but I gave that up 2 years ago now. I was so upset as I just want to be able to smile. I want to not be unhappy anymore. I am just not strong enough to keep up the whole I can fix my smile but you will always be a jerk mentality I had and most of all, I wanted to meet all of you and not be worried about being judged (which I shouldn't anyhow right!). The doctor however did say something that I had never though of and we should always remember this.

She said, "you can buy new teeth and have an amazing smile Catherine but you can NEVER buy the good health that you have. You can never buy having great stats and most of all you cannot buy the love that a family has for their mum/wife. What your family sees is what counts and that is not your outside looks, its how you are on the inside." #loveit

I had never looked at things like that. I mean its true isnt it. How often do we look at our physical appearance and feel saddened or angry by it? I battle this everyday and I think I have FINALLY unlocked that last piece of the weight puzzle for me. Its always been a case of I can hide behind being chubby since people wont look twice at me. If I start to get comments on how good I am looking, I self sabotage to get back to the point where noone comments anymore. I wish I could have seen this before and not had to take so long. I really thought that last round was my I get it round but I can see now that we will always keep learning about ourselves and keep getting it more and more.

I have most probably babbled so much in this blog but it feels nice to lift the weight and share the burden. I am still the first to highly recommend this program since I may be a little slow and be still here after 6 rounds but I know that with each round I am that step closer to the new amazing Cath and I know now that she is in there waiting to get out. The time is now and with my new denture appointment now on Thursday at 3pm, I can get impressions done ready for an immediate plate to be put in once teeth have been removed. My new goal once that is done will be to get a photo with not just my huggies girls but also with Michelle showing off the most biggest massivest smile of all.

So ladies I just want you all to know that this journey is very different for each person. My journey has taken this long but yours may be shorter. I think this year Biggest Loser has also been a key to helping me as well. I learnt that I really don't love myself and without that things can be tough. I also have learnt that those close to us don't see what we do. We are our own worst judges quite possibly at the worst of times.

You are all beautiful no matter what and just think, when you are done on this weight loss journey you will be beautiful inside and out smile Michelle and the 12WBT crew are creating the new age gorgeous peeps club.

Take care all and much love!

Cath xoxo

PS I do hope this makes sense. The feelings and emotions with this are just so full on and its sometimes hard to get a million thoughts out onto paper. Its not really a weight loss post but more a personal one. xoxo

Saturday, March 24, 2012

6 hours at a gym....WHAT!!

What a massively busy week I have had! I also have had a pretty humongous break down but it was what I needed I think but thats another story!

So happily for the first time in a while, I managed to get 2 assessments in ON TIME for uni this week! I have been pretty fabulous with my eating at uni too so that is a really big plus.

So other than uni what has happened......

Well guess what I now own.....

MY VERY OWN TREADMILL!!!!

That means within my home I have a treadmill, a cross trainer and lots of free weights, barbells, dumb bellsetc. Not to mention that hubby is progressing very nicely through his PT training. I tell you what, Michelle and the crew work amazingly hard putting these programs together.....I thought it was as simple as yep lets put together 'x' amount of exercises and put them in the list......my god no its not that simple! Its a case of what muscles, then placed in order etc.....it is actually quite time consuming really. I am however enjoying tagging along as its helping put all this in perspective that I have been doing for so long! I really do admire the crew for their time that goes into this as it would be pretty huge!

Anyhow, today I spent from 7am till 1.00pm at the gym. Yep a whole 6 hours! 6 hours at a gym I hear you say......DOING WHAT!! Well from 7am till about 11.30, it was with hubby and the other trainee PTs. Was quite interesting as we worked through how to use machines etc as well as techniques. I see now how easy it is to get an exercise wrong and so easily hurt yourself. It was quite amazing listening to a trainer of over 25 years talking through all the exercises that could be done as well as helping us do them correctly too!

But it wasnt all play.....

I finished up by doing my workout program I had written a few weeks ago! I am also feeling a tad sore this evening so I dread tomorrow. At least its a good pain right wink

Bedtime now (yes Mish I hear you saying OMG Perko its 10.30 and you are still awake!) I plan on finishing my nice warm green tea and then I think I will be asleep before my head hits the pillow. It has been a very draining week..... both physically and mentally but a week where I have learnt so much about myself too.

Take care all and chat soon!

Cath xoxo

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Thats What Makes You Beautiful!

So yes I am a bit of a One Direction fan but hey, I havent heard of anyone who hasnt liked this song wink

So that brings me to my post today. We are almost half way through 12WBT. For some it is your first, others it is more but either way we all have the same feelings. To feel beautiful when we look in the mirror!

I still cringe when I look in the mirror but just last night for the first time in a VERY long time my hubby said out of the blue......your beautiful you know that. He added that he was so proud of how far I have come over the past couple of years. This is all thanks to Michelle and the 12WBT crew. Without them or this program I do not dare to think how I would be looking right now nor how much I would be weighing. Michelle has never given up on me nor has her team. I have good days and bad days but now its more good than bad and that to me shows that I am learning. 

As many of you know I am on my 6th round of 12WBT. I have been a part of the program since the second round EVER back in 2010. I have had many highs, many lows and even times when I just wanted to curl up into a corner and hope that I was forgotten......that doesnt happen in this program. Noone is forgotten about. I am sure there are even a few of you who have got that email asking if you have forgotten to weigh in. Oh yes that email. It is a good time if you have to just JFDI....get on those scales and what will be will be. 

We all have to start somewhere. 

Even I have had to restart again. I am back up to over 77kg since these last 3 weeks have been carb overload! I am not talking junk food either. Just had to put things that were rare in my diet back in just so we could eat. I am talking potatoes, white bread.....I have even had to go to full cream milk. I am however not giving up! The shopping shelves are filling back up again slowly and my diet is getting back on track! Even had a healthy version of tacos last night. YUMMO! Healthy food tastes so much better too wink

So getting back to my original gist of my post. What makes you beautiful? I mean the song says it all.....not knowing you are beautiful makes you beautiful. 

So who is getting back on the wagon with me? What will make you feel beautiful cause I know sitting around feeling like all is lost isnt an answer. I had to diet change through no choice but I do have the choice now to fix the damage that has been done. I also have got the most amazing pressie coming from hubby. He has ordered a treadmill!! Hoping to have it by the end of the week. I am so excited too! I was shocked when he told me. He wanted to surprise me and leave it till it was actually there but he couldnt wait! He is also busily progressing through his PT course. Yay for having my own personal trainer soon but guess what ladies....ill be able to check my PT out and not get in trouble.....hehe wink

Lets do it! WE have just over 6 weeks to really own it and walk our talk. On your own you may struggle but here with your 12WBT family, we CAN do it together.

MWAH! to you all. You are all Beautiful!

Cath xoxo

PS I posted this on the 12WBT forums but I really think this needed to be in my blog also :)

Friday, March 9, 2012

Back on board and ready to roll!

So I thought the above post had a place of belonging in my blog. I also wanted to take some time to reflect on what I have learnt....well not learnt but came to realise over the last few days.

When you are on the weightloss journey, you are also on the save your own life journey. This last week I know how important life really is. It is amazing how much brute force Mother Nature can have but its not something that we too cant have also!

Mother Nature as some may think is selfish since she thinks and cares for nothing in her way. In actual fact though, these floods and disaters have been happening for way longer than we have lived here and will keep happening. Why? Because Mother Nature knows that even our landscape needs a clean out sometimes in order to grow again.

How is a weightloss journey so different?

We all set out on a path to clean up our whirlwind selves. We end with a better version and a new life. This is the same with our landscape and disasters. New life will come from this as well as new beginnings. So I am going to use this to push me forward and climb back aboard. I need to get my mindset back and I wont get it back by sitting here wishing it would magically appear. That wont happen. You know it and I know it!

Its time to pick ourselves up from whatever disaster we have made of our lives and begin again. Noone has failed if you get yourself back on track.....we only fail if we give up totally.

So lets get back to basics, get back on the wagon and heres to a brand new start for all those who feel that they have failed.

Cath xoxo

ARGH is the best way to describe it!

So as Michelle says, if you need to indulge dont let the horse bolt.....

Well I am ashamed to say that I not only let the horse out of the paddock but its running down the main street and picking up speed!

We have been dealing with flood issues here and to top it off, our local supermarket shelves ran out of even the basics such as bread, milk and meat. All excuses though I guess but I cant change what has happened.

I got on the scales this morning and once again am paying the ultimate price. I have GAINED 1.3kg!!! 1.3kg in a week. I am owning it and I am going to have to work ultra hard this week. I am just at a place where my mind is saying " I cant be bothered, but my heart is telling me I have to not let this beat me". 

How can I move past this? I am trying hard and I have even removed all the junk food from the house. The junk that has crept in though isnt from whats in the house, its what has been left on the shelves. How silly can I be! Here I am the one who usually can offer the advice to everyone and support all, yet I am the one tagging behind dragging the chain.

With the events of the past week here, I know how important life is. I just need to get my body and mind to catch up.....

BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!

Thank you for listening to my babble. Just needed a place to put my thoughts down. Might have to blog later about this as its a pretty big slump I am in right now.

Cath xoxo

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Gym Workouts are not all that bad!

I did it! I went to the gym yesterday and did my first workout program as designed by my PT on Wednesday. 

Upon arrival I was very nervous! Would I remember what exercise was what and which machines I used when doing the quick round on Wednesday? It can be very daunting when you walk into a gym and see all that equipment but the key is knowing how to use it and how to use it properly for yourself.

I grabbed the program from behind the front desk and was stoked to see that it had been written in simple language as well as said what weight and what settings for the equipment. Off to warm up on the treadie for 10 minutes and then that was it, I was into my very first round of circuit! Circuit involves lots of strength type training for me. A lot of it upper body actually since I mentioned that I have zero upper body strength. This is very normal for females apparently. You would think with all that baby carrying we do, we would be stronger up there but it was interesting to chat with the PT about it all since we actually are using our back muscles to carry these heavy bambinos!

So my workout is 10 minute warm up, circuit, cardio for 10 minutes, circuit, cardio for 10 minutes, ab work and then stretch/cooldown. 

It doesnt sound like much but it took me an hour and a half to get through it all as well as burning off 1018 calories for my SSS session. I was pretty happy with that! Hubby and I chose a time when we knew the gym would be quiet. I figure its easier for me atm to work through these exercises without feeling like I am being judged by others who are fitter in the gym. I have to also remember though that this is the first step! This might seem outside my comfort zone but it is also not the comfort zone I should be worried about! This is my health....my life....and you cant put a price on that.

I thought I would blog today to give a message to everyone.....

Dont let the thought of embarrassment get to you. This is so much bigger than a feeling. This is life. This is the future we are building and being fit and healthy also means the future looks a lot brighter than it does right now. 

We can ALL do this! WE just have to be bigger than that little inner voice that seems to always say the wrong things at the right time. We need to gain control and with each step in the right direction, we are regaining that power.

So go on, get out there and get that workout done that you have been putting off. Even visit your local gym and see if you can get your own program fixed up. Some gyms even offer it for free when you join up. Look into it and you just may be surprised.

Get out there and JFDI!

Cath xoxo

Friday, February 24, 2012

Never Give Up and Never Give In!

Hi all,

Well I have been a little quiet on the forum and blog front for a little while and that is cause I had a bit of a wake up call when I went to the gym last week.

Hubby is doing his PT certificate and the gym has been amazing enough to let me sit in on everything even though I am not doing it. I even got a 3 month membership to the gym as well. They have been nothing but lovely!

Anyhow, last week it was all about fitness and how to test fitness levels. I thought hell yeah, I should blitz this without a problem.....how wrong I was. The group is made up of mostly 18-20 year olds with only me hubby and another lady aged 35 and over. I was not comparing myself to the younger ones in the group but I was down on myself personally as I really thought I could achieve so much more!

We did a step test for 3 minutes to test our VO2 output or whatever it is.....well mine came in at poor to good.....everyone else including hubby came in at excellent.....then we did a 30 second sit up test. I manage 13 and same with the 30 sec pushup test. The average for the majority of people is AT LEAST 15! I thought I did ok in my sit and reach (+3) till I found out the average for females is +11!!!. Then we had to do like a chin up hold type thing and see how long we could hold it for. I managed a measly 3 seconds and then proceeded to lose grip and fall hard on my foot. Gosh it hurt!! Next up was the beep test! Never done one of those before. Anyhow, off I went and was buggered by the time it beeped onto 3.2.

That was it for me. I was devastated but still kept a brave face for the rest of the morning. I was so upset too that hubby who has only just started exercising and eating healthy did so much better than me who has been doing this a lot longer than he has.

I spent the afternoon using the R.I.C.E method on my right ankle as it was so painful when I took my shoe off after the fall earlier on in the morning and I pondered on everything that had gone on. I know I cant compare myself to the others and I wasnt trying too but I really though that I personally was fitter than that!

So I had a booking to see a PT to set up a personalised program for me. Never done that before as usually just follow Michelles program or just go walking/running. I told him that it wasnt the fact my legs couldnt go anymore in the beep test but I just couldnt breathe! I literally was out of breath. He said that I need to improve my lung capacity and has given me a workout program to help do just that as well as help me get fitter. He also said to not dwell to much on the start as we all have to start somewhere. Its the starting point that is the most important part of any workout regime since its what we use to improve ourselves on.

They were also trying to get me to have a go at there 5 week Ultralite plan but after a lot of talking with the amazing 12WBT ladies on facebook, I am going to strip what I know back to basics and utilise the tools I have here. With the money I wont use on the other program, ill put towards a gym membership. It might be 40 minutes each way, but I think having the support of a PT is just what I need right now.

I have hit a small speedhump in the road of my weight loss journey. Its not the first speedhump and it certainly wont be the last. I am just proud that instead of giving up, I have taken the step forward to learn to be even better than I am now. I have learnt so much from Michelle and the 12WBT team and you know what.....

Not even the gym could find fault in this program ;) I knew they wouldnt though! Even though I have the workouts here, I have taken on a program a little more tailored to what I am after. Who knows, I just might be at finale looking fabulous AND be at goal weight!!

My family has faith in me, Michelle and the 12WBT crew have faith in me, my 12WBT family have faith in me, I just need to find that faith to have in me too! I WILL DO IT! I CAN DO IT!

Much love everyone and remember to NEVER give up!

It never gets easier, but you WILL get better at it :)

Cath xoxo

Friday, February 17, 2012

Complacency can creep up on a person before they know it!

Well its been a long time between blog posts but not without good reason......or is that without a good excuse ;)

Over the past two weeks, I have had a uni exam to which I have no idea how I went.....I got through our house inspection with the owners and finally I have been busy printing out and organising myself for the uni semester ahead which at this time seems to be taking up all my time!

So how have I been going these last two weeks.....well I havent gained any weight so thats a good thing right! My diet has been nice and clean apart from the still occasional slip up but the exercise has waned......

A LOT!

Hubby has been trying his hardest to get me up and motivated but I think I have slipped into the mentality that if I eat healthy, the weight is coming off anyway!

BAD MOVE!!

I need to get back to the whole get up, get out and JFDI!! I mean if hubby can come home from a 12 hour shift and push himself for 30+ minutes on the cross trainer, then what is my problem? Why am I sitting there on the lounge watching tele whilst he is out walking laps of the forest?

Admittedly I got up Wednesday morning and I honestly had no intention of walking the 15km for our wedding anniversary......but you know what, I over come that inner voice and I DID IT!! 15km in just under 3 hours and a total calorie burn of 2113 calories!! I was stoked. All day Wednesday I was like, you know what, I can do this. 1 hour a day....that is it, thats all I need.

I said I would have a rest day yesterday after the mammoth workout on Wednesday which I did. Here I sit though, Friday and its almost midday....still have done NOTHING! I am heading to the gym tonight with hubby who has his first session with the gym to learn to be a PT so I might just head off with him. See if being in the gym is inspiring enough a place to be in to get back the JFDI mojo that seems to have gone wandering.

Its tough being in this place. Know that only a few short week ago you were so motivated and then hitting a slump. I know that the food is spot on, I have to keep it that way so thats a good thing right.......

Well if only I could be as vigilant with my exercise. Even setting the alarm for 4.45am as I use to do isnt working this time. I just get up turn it off and go back to bed.

I will report back this evening with hopefully good news! Perhaps I need to feed of hubbies drive and energy for a while. I know I helped him to get to the place he is in now.....maybe its time to get the favour back!

Until later this evening,.......

MWAH!

Cath xoxo

Sunday, January 29, 2012

I may have fell off the wagon but I have the strength within now to get back on!

Well I got my essay done but it took a lot of will power to get there. Now its onto reading books in preparation for a 3 hour exam that I am quietly freaking out about.




Anyhow, onto my busy week and why its been so long since my last blog!

Well first of all we had to get the house in ship shape for an open house that the real estate wanted to do and then I had the essay to write and this was followed by my daughters sweet 16th. Now I am trying to organise things for a house inspection from the owners on Friday next week.....we only got a weeks notice but its not all bad since we have only just had a massive cleanout! WE have even reorganised our loungeroom which now looks so much roomier instead of confined and cluttered!



My eating and exercise has gone downhill this week :( Its sad that all I know can just disappear and I go back to not caring. It has also shown me that no matter how strong I am, I can still go back to old habits in the blink of an eye. At least it wasn't the gourmet gorges I use to indulge in so that is a plus but its still not the best is it. Whilst my main meals have been wonderful (even out at dinner for my daughters birthday I chose a small steak and salad), my snacking has been atrocious and has been my undoing. I had the tiniest slice of cake at my daughters birthday too and was so proud of myself! Even woke up on Australia Day and did a 5km fun run from the jail to the swimming pool. Was great walking with hubby, Tilly, Haydie and my mum. Whats better is I felt wonderful for the rest of the day too!




Now for the bad.... during the past 3 days, I have eaten more cake, maxibons and even chocolate! ARGH! Feeling a tad crappy today though cause of it all. I dont know how I use to live like this everyday! No wonder I was tired all the time. It was from the overload of unhealthy food in my body!



So today this is it. There is no 'oh ill start tomorrow since thats the new week".

IT STARTS TODAY!

I have just devoured an amazingly healthy bowl of muesli and am contemplating making up the other 150 calories with maybe a slice of toast or a yoghurt. I am just lucky that I have gotten stronger over the past 18+ months with Michelle and am able to pick up on these bad habits now before they turn into the norm way of life.

So there it is. I fell off the wagon. Even the strong have it happen!

The thing I have learnt though, is that you can prove your strength by getting back on quicker than you fell off. If you think you cant do it, THINK AGAIN! You can and you will. You cant play roulette with your life everyday.


In saying all the above, I had planned in advance to lax out on my daughters birthday which just so happens to also be Australia Day :) The thing is......I didnt have to lax out. It just all came naturally. Even the slice of mudcake that day was a small one. It was the mentality that came after that which I wasnt prepared for!

I am now bracing myself for possibly the first gain on the scales in well over 4 months. It is Sunday though and there is still time to turn things around.



Now to get everything organised and a plan laid out so that exercise is fit in with reading and keeping the house up to speed for the owners!

Have an amazing week everyone and remember.....falling off the wagon is easy.....it takes strength to admit you are wrong and get back on :)



Mwah!

Cath xoxo

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Excuses? They are everywhere!

Today has been one of arguing with my little inner voice but this time its not for food surprisingly! Its to do with getting my essay done but the problem is I cant even begin to understand the book I am suppose to read and write 1500 words on so how can I move on and past the roadblock?

I think the problem is just like weight loss. If you think it seems to hard, then chances are your mind will convince you that it is too hard and you will continue on throwing things in the hard basket. This has always been my problem. This is also a time I would turn to chocolate, cake, cookies....absolutely anything that was jam packed with sugar and fat. I didnt care cause it is what I 'thought' helped me move past being in a hard place when all seems impossible. Now I am here with no vices such as chocolate to turn too and yes, I am finding it hard!


Losing weight is a tough task to take on, couple that with the continuing daily drills of life and it can seem like an uphill battle.....

But it doesnt have to be!



I started to slump into the whole, "its too hard", "I cant possibly do this", "where am I going to find the time?" and then I realised that once again my little inner voice is trying to convince me that these #EXCUSES are real in a hope that I will believe them.

WELL NOT THIS TIME BUSTER! I AM KICKING YOU TO YOUR ROOM WHERE NAUGHTY TEENS BELONG!



Its time for me to step back up to the plate and take charge once again. I have been so good since Christmas and am still actually being great but I know it only takes one slip up into the trolley and its all over! Even just 15 minutes ago, I had to go to the shop to purchase a jar of Golden Honey Mustard Lite Chicken tonight and some stir fry veggies. That was it....that was all I #needed I really wanted some chocolate so instead I put in a big piece of watermelon and some of the Soleil cheesecake yoghurt type things. It is great to get the bill and its only $12 instead of the usual $40 and having the majority of it be junk!



Mick is definitely keeping me on track this time! Without him I think I would have slumped but instead, we are out walking everyday and burning almost 1000 calories each time! He alone on Wednesday did a 1600 calorie burn session in the morning followed by another 870 in the evening. He really is inspiring me to get off my butt and just move! It is so nice to walk through the forest with him and even nicer when we have Tilly in her pram and our 12 year old son on his bike. It would be better if my 17 and 15 year old daughters came but I think I would be pushing it to even think that would happen.....lol. How much more picture perfect can you get when out walking in Australian bushland. Below are some pics from my walk yesterday with hubby!.


If you look closely there is a lizard in this pic. He wasnt a small one either. He is in between the broken tree branch and the tree with the thicker trunk. Almost trod on his tail and certainly got the heart rate up a lot!

 This is mine and hubbies new stomping grounds! We managed two laps yesterday so will keep improving on that. It is so serene out there! You wouldn't even know you were close to a town its that quiet.



In amongst the trees in this pic there were like 5 kangaroos and a couple of wallabies. Going to head out earlier next time to see how many more we can see. I think they are getting to know us since they dont just jump away now when we are walking past. they just stare at us as if to say "omg check out the weirdos walking in the heat!".

I will end here but I just want to let you all know that weight loss is an ongoing battle. It is not something that just happens and then you can forget about it. Sure we start to make choices that are healthy without even thinking but that little voice can also turn evil in the blink of an eye!




Good luck and always think to yourself.....

IS THIS JUST ANOTHER EXCUSE?

Cath xoxo

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

JFDI is more than four words strung together!

So its day two of pre-season and the forums are steadily getting busier and filling with new members as well as returning members. Its this time each round where I reflect on when I was a newbie. I was the one who was bright eyed and eager to learn everything Michelle had to teach me. It was so exciting!



It is hard to remember back to what it was like but it is nice to get caught up in the air of emotion that comes with pre-season kick off for the 12WBT program. It is a kick up the bum for some who have forgotten their way and for others, its just another day at the office so to speak.

As I have said a few time these past few days, I am back for my SIXTH consecutive round of 12WBT. Some might think that I am an addict or even a stalker (hell no!). I see it as a place of learning. It is where I learn each and every day how to be a better person.....inside and out. You see healthy also means happy albeit some days I am so tired I could easily say to hell with the #JFDI motto that has been linked to the program. Then I think that its this motto that gets us moving since I remember Mish telling us back in my first round that motivation is like a bad boyfriend that you keep waiting to turn up and never does. You see motivation is nothing compared to consistency and you cant get consistency without using the JFDI card.




I have grown slack over this off season. Let me explain....you see I was out the door at 5am every single morning before the finale. Then I got ill and was stuck in bed. Slowly but surely that consistency of getting up and into robot mode slithered away and before I knew it, excuses were slowly creeping back in again.



I am lucky this time round as I have my hubby aka Mick beside me in all my workouts. Even yesterday I tried to use an excuse of snakes out in the forest to which he just told me to JFDI......yep that seems to be the lingo of the day as it is what I hear several times through out 24 hours. Even my uni work needs to have the JFDI card pulled sometimes and even when I have to do washing or cleaning.

4 little words that on there own mean little but out them together and you have a very powerful mind setting sentence! JFDI!! Just Freaking Do It.



Even this blog this evening was done utilising the JFDI card! It works with everything not just exercise or eating healthy.

Today was a big one for me with it though.....we were in McDonalds (oh dare I say it!) and I ordered a seared chicken garden salad with no dressing. I was told it would be a 10 minute wait unless I wanted crispy chicken.....it was hard cause I hate waiting but you know what....I flexed my little willpower muscle (which is getting stronger these days) and said.......

NO I WILL WAIT!!



And wait I did. When we got home, I again pulled out that famous card and headed for a walk with my toddler in her pram, hubby and also my 12 year old son and went into the forest! I did plan on a double lap but when we got there, my ankle decided to go one way and my foot another. It isnt feeling too bad now but I did perservere with it and manage one lap around. It was gorgeous! We saw lizards to which my toddler was trying to think of a pokemon that looked the same so she could give it a name (was very cute!) and we also saw a wallaby. Its so nice to live in the country and get to see those things. I have lived here for almost 4 years and never once been through there till yesterday! Sad that we have this gorgeous forest walk and I have never walked it! So glad I have now! Not to mention the 1022 calories I burnt along the way! Pushing an 18kg toddler in a pram must be good for the workout ;)




Anyhow, I am pulling my JFDI card once again and going to sit with the hubby who is casually playing the PS3 atm so might join him with a nice hot cup of green tea.

Weigh in day tomorrow and guess what.......

IM EXCITED!!! (cant believe I am saying that!)



So to everyone who is reading.....JFDI is more than just four words.....it can become a way of life ;)

Cath xoxo

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Why do I keep clicking the sign up button?

So here I sit with my 6th round of 12WBT about to start. Yes you read correctly, my 6th round. So why do I keep coming back? Its not like I have continually lost weight throughout those previous 5 rounds. Infact, 3 of those rounds I donated my money (to a good cause of course), and gained 15kg! So what is going on? Why am I still signed up?

Because halfway during my last round which was my 5th, I am proud to say that I finally got it! I finally got the whole food/exercise thing. I finally got that Mish isnt just a hard arse and that yes this woman really does know her stuff. Most of all, I finally felt like I was in a good place.

So why did it take so long to get there? Why am I the first to promote 12WBT when it took me so long to get in the mindset? you know why......because the program works. Its people such as myself who find it harder to just get in and get it right the first time. To be honest, my first round ever was ok. It was not fabulous or trailblazing but I lost weight. A whole 7kg and was within 5kg of my goal weight. So here it is.

This is my story of my lengthy but memorable 12WBT journey.

I read back on my first ever post in the 12WBT forums (yes I have it saved on my computer), and I have tears as I see how far I have come since that day. I was in such a dark place and dealing with a non sleeping bubba wasnt helping. I was lost. I had been following Michelles brand new 12WBT page as it was currently finishing off its first ever round. The stories I was reading from people on there had me thinking that this program was for me. It was time to find who Cath was. So I clicked the little SIGN UP button. I am so glad I did now but I can tell you back then it was a struggle. It was difficult cause even though I was sad and depressed, I was also struggling with the thought of having to fit in exercise and healthy cooking as well as be a mum to 4 children, one of which was a baby and a wife to an amazing man who was working 12 hour shifts. I sat there night after night and watched the little video that was up there to promote the program. I nodded everytime Michelle would say "how would you like me to be your personal trainer!" I mean Michelle Bridges....my trainer.....just WOW! 2 weeks later I was in. Button was pushed and I started to make some amazing new friends on the forums. It was filled with chit chat of other woman, (oh and how could I forget Albert and CaptOz), who all wanted the same thing. to lose weight and be happy with themselves. So many people all with the one dream. So many amazing superstars as I now call them, who are at there goal weights and living out their dreams but thats not what this blog is about :)

So my first 12 weeks was filled with highs and lows. Many lows in fact but I still remember the highs too. The feeling of finishing my first gym session, the feeling that I had given up cigarettes cold turkey, the feeling of beating my 1km time trial, the feeling that I was able to keep up with the gym group as I got fitter. The best part though, I was eating healthy and I was losing weight. Tilly loved her walks in the pram and it also helped to soothe her so that meant time out from the crying. I finished up my 12 weeks being a 6 day a week workout person. I would gym 3 days a week and walk with Tilly the other 3 days. My family was so supportive and caring through that time and I went from feeling lost to feeling just a little important. After you start this journey, I dont think you ever forget that first meeting with Michelle and not to mention that all important PHOTO!

 Yep I was starstruck! Here was a woman standing in the same room talking to me and making me feel important! It worked cause when I came home from the Sydney finale, I put in my application for uni. I stopped thinking I cant and started thinking that I can. Maybes turned to definites and no turned into yes.

Then slowly but surely things went pear shaped. I signed up for my 2nd round (round 3 2010), and it was downhill for me personally. My PT left for a holiday and the gym didnt replace him. The girls stopped going to the gym and before I knew it, it was just me left. So I too stopped going. My 6 days a week at the gym turned into 4 then 2 and then eventually I wasnt going at all. I was still eating ok however so weight didnt gain rapidly. I cruised through that round, didnt really lose or gain weight but I wasnt happy since I only had 5kg to go to get to my goal....WTH was I doing!

Welcome Round 1 2011 and my 3rd round. Ummm yep maybe we should skip that one and the next one since I did nothing. I dont think I even watched a live feed video. I did the occasional forum post and really just let it all slide. Uni study was hectic and I didnt have time (or so I thought), to cook healthy food or go workout. I did a blog post not to long ago about the price of eating out. I mean heck at uni I can get a bucket of chips and a coke for $5. If I want a healthy wrap and a water, well I am looking at around almost $10! Thats double the unhealthy option. I could have always spent the time packing my lunch but nope, eating out was faster. Yes it was faster but as you will see in the next part, it was a really bad choice but it was also a really good wake up call!

So lets skip through to Round 3 2011 with a Huggies twist. This was Michelle and the 12WBT crews new project. This program was the same type of 12WBT I had known and loved but it was geared towards mums with bubs, pregnant mums, breastfeeding mums or ever those thinking of having a bambino. I thought, yep, I am going to give this a good go. I am going to be honest to myself this round and I have so many other mums who know only too well how it feels when bubs is ill and wont leave you alone. I put in 110% and the results show. I during the program I lost close to 7kg. Most of which was done in the second half of the program when everything clicked into place. I am still losing weight now even during off season as I am subconsciously making the right choices without even thinking now! Best of all I was crowned the Huggies Inspirational Blogger AND came in the top 20 overall transformations!. I also was able to get a new pic with Michelle although I felt a little overwhelmed since I was 8kg heavier than when I saw her last but you know what......I realised that it shouldnt matter cause the most important thing had occurred.......I GOT IT!


As a mum, sometimes you cant just JFDI as much as you would like too. There are other people in our lives that we need to look after as well and all the people on this part of the program understood. I have made some amazing new friends during this most recent round and more so, they also helped me get to the Sydney finale. It was like they knew something I didnt!. I know a lot of them are not coming back as they did so well last round, they are at goal and ready to tackle the world on their own.

For me, Huggies 12WBT helped me turn on that weight loss light. I think reading about other mums who were getting out there and really just doing it was inspiring to me. Then seeing them all jump on board the #crackofarse sessions that Amelia runs was just amazing. I mean heck, if they can do it I can too right? It all just went from there. Kind of like a snowball effect but in a good way :) I also turned to my blog and the forums to post about my journey. It didnt phase me  if people read it or not as it was my way to get it all out there instead of bottling it up inside.



So here we are at the current day and I sit here all ready and signed up to my 6th 12WBT. I am once again on board with the Huggies crew as I just think that is home now. It also doesnt have the hustle and bustle of the main forums but I know that will change with time as the program becomes more popular and widely known about. For now though, I am happy with where I am today and where I am going tomorrow. For once it is all laid out and planned although I could be better with exercise so have to get that happening again.

Pre-season starts in just 2 days and I honestly cant wait. The forums are already buzzing with new people as well as those returning for another round and it really is exciting! I honestly think that if you are a mum or wanting to become a mum, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND you signing up for the Michelle Bridges 12WBT HUGGIES round. It is what it took for me to finally get it as well as understand what it means to be important as well.

So what have you got to lose? Oh yeah just all that excess baggage that holds you back each and every day. I guess what I wanted to say was, no matter how much you tell yourself you cant, if you really want it then you can. Only you can take this journey. This is something that no other person but yourself can do but you and yes you may be the sort of person who gets it from the start but know that it is ok if it takes you a bit longer to get there. Just do yourself a favour......dont EVER give up on yourself :) You can get there if you just try!





http://www.12wbt.com/huggies-1-2012/ Clicking this link is your first step to a better, more exciting, more fun YOU!

Just some Vids to change your mind even more :)


And the Huggies Vid made up by Lizzy who was a member of round 3 2011



Cath xoxo

Saturday, January 7, 2012

So I took Control Today

So a continuation on from this mornings blog.....I posted this also in the new Huggies forums but figure it should be here to as it was blog worthy!

So this morning I woke up and after a mini meltdown, I sent the inner teenager to her bedroom and pulled one of the biggest JFDI cards EVER!

In 2 hours 2 minutes and 44 seconds, I had finally finished my super Saturday session. It took a lot to get through and even at times I just wanted to stop but you know what......I didnt. I started my workout with a goal in mind and that was I would not stop till my HRM ticked over at least 1000 calories today. The other thing was it had to be exercise. Not washing the car or mowing the lawn. Real workout stuff!

I sat for a while procrastinating wondering what I could do and then BAM! it hit me. I have DVDS. I have workout equipment....what more could I possibly need. I have the tools from Michelle from previous rounds. I can do this. I just needed to convince myself that I could.

I started the workout with some Jillian Michaels who kicked my butt totally during the 20 or so minutes that 30 day shred goes for. I was well short though of my 1000 calories. I had managed 296 cals so what next.....



HMMMMM

Step up to the plate Michelle Bridges and her Cardio Kicker DVD. One word for that....just WOW! I really enjoyed it and got through the WHOLE DVD. Checked the HRM but I was still short of my 1000 calorie burn. 807 calories gone so far....I needed more....

You know what I did.....I thought I would kick my own butt for the finish.....

So I fought all the inner voices and demons and got on the crosstrainer. My aim was to get that HRM past the 1000 calories....I managed to get there but then thought, nah ill go for the 10km instead! and you know what.....

I DID IT!!



With Jillian, Michelle and then the final burst on the cross trainer, I managed to burn off a grand total of 1157 calories. Ah I feel fabulous now! I am really happy with myself that I fought the hard war and won out. Usually I would have stopped after Jillian so to go on and do the full workout with Michelle and then to further it with 10km on the cross trainer was nothing short of amazing.

I hope you have all gone out there and done something. The program may not have officially started yet but why wait? Why wait for tomorrow when you can begin today?




Cath xoox