Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Its a struggle but its got to be done!

So weigh in day for week 1.....bought back a lot of struggles that I usually face when it comes time to stand on the scales. I stand there pondering and thinking about the week just been, what I have achieved (or haven't achieved) and finally will those numbers fall and how will I deal with it if they dont. I can stand there for what literally feels like an eternity just analysing everything. That is my downfall......I over analyse EVERYTHING! Things that are good, I basically find what is bad and talk myself out of whatever it is.

Today though, I got up, went to the bathroom....took a deep breathe......


It was an 800g LOSS!! I was stoked. I need to have more confidence in myself since I had done everything right these last few days. I mean heck, I am getting out of bed at 5am in the morning (and I am so not a morning person). That in itself is a major achievement. I even commented to a friend that I walk with the other morning that I hadn't seen a sunrise unless it was walking home from a pub back when I was young and silly.

So there it is, what a start! The groundwork has been set. I need to have faith in myself and be honest. I would have to be silly to think that my inner voice is right all the time especially when she is saying that just one piece wont hurt, or just one glass of coke is ok....the best one though that I am learning to beat very worked out this morning and have spare calories there......not anymore! This is tough love Cath in the house and I wont take listening to that ever again. Its that inner talk that has me here overweight and unhappy. Its that inner talk that had me regain the weight I worked so hard to lose 12 months ago.

Its my time to shine and be a better role model to my children. During my journey, I felt so guilty with every person that signed up to the program because of me being so inspirational......I dont feel inspirational......I feel more like a fraud. Obviously these people see something that I dont and that something is what I want to find. That fire I found burning during last years first 12WBT round.

It is time for me to be honest to me, to Michelle, to my family. I need to produce something big this round cause I feel if I dont then I have failed the most important person in this equation.......


Walk the talk....that is what I need to do and with just a tad of support and a lot of trust which I already have in Michelle and the program.....I might just come out of this ok.

Cath xoox

PS Listening to Michelles intro tonight on the live feed felt like it was written just for me. Certainly shut that voice up that was telling me to get chocolate which is funny since there is zero chocolate in this house (yep even hubbies stash is gone!)

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Well, I couldnt come back to this since first of all the bank cancelled my credit cards due to then being compromised (yay bank but not yay for me as it meant my payment couldnt be processed!) and now to top it off I think my toddler has chickenpox. Got to love the joys of being a mum right! Final 3 weeks of uni, assessments coming out of my ears and a sick toddler as well as a workout routine to look after.

What to do.....

The old Cath would have just tossed everything aside and quite possibly turned to all food that is bad but something is different.....

The new Cath is ready to go!

Since day one kick off yesterday, I have got up to my alarm at 4.50AM, got out of bed, dressed and organised, then off I go. Meet up with a friend and we walk for around 40 minutes! Both mornings, I have burnt my 500 cals and walked 4km before 6am! Its great since there is no time for the excuses to kick in at that time of the day...not to mention how gorgeous the sunrise is. Makes you appreciate living in the country smile I have attached pics from the last 2 days. It is just divine to watch!

 Mondays Sunrise
Today's Sunrise

So as for my epiphany, to buy junk food you need money. I am one of the first ones to say how tight our budget is yet I seem to be able to mange to buy a chocolate. Without money, we wouldnt be able to buy these luxuries that we should just rub onto our arse cause thats where they are going. So why do I find myself always struggling with money but have it there to get the wrong food? Why.....because that little inner voice (you know the one that says "just one more bite wont hurt") has been in control. Not anymore! I am taking charge and I am putting that little voice back in its box. This is the same voice that gives me all the excuses in the world to not exercise and the same voice that has me where I am now.....overweight and unhappy!

I havent yet done my fitness test but will get to it today. I am sure once I finish there will be tears of sadness since looking at where I am now to where I was 12 months ago makes me feel ashamed and disappointed. I am back with the 12WBT program though, ready to shake it, move it and lose it! There are no more excuses left in the book and slowly but surely I am learning how to defeat that inner demon.

Morning walks are going to be part of my new routine and if its raining, ill either get wet or ill jump on the cross trainer since that sits right at the door!

I am beating my demons one day at a time and so far, the outcome is looking amazing.

Bring on weigh in day tomorrow!!

Until next time, in Michelles words "EAT CLEAN and TRAIN HARD" Be honest to yourself with what you are doing and eating.

Cath xoxo

And here we are....back again for Round ummm I forget now!

Uni studies and assessment have got in the way of me spending some time to suss out the blogger sites so I can create a new one. So I shall just start here and once I have a free moment, will transfer this to somewhere more permanent.

So where to begin. I guess the very beginning as is always said. I have done my intro post so you already know that I am a mum of 4 and happily married and its not hard to see I am a returning member since I have the big tag below my avatar displaying that fact. So what happened? Why am I still here after 5 rounds yet promote the program so happily.

Cause I am the one who has failed. Not the program. That is the honest truth. Its tough to admit when we are wrong and not try and find blame on someone else. I did try though! I blamed my hubby, I blamed my children.....I blamed the local gym for not get another personal trainer when the regular one left. I blamed everyone but the person whose fault it really was............


So here I am back again 5 round later and after an amazing first round where I found myself after being lost for so long went back to that place that I had worked so hard to come from. The bonus however is that whilst I was in a good place and things had gotten better back then is the fact I applied for university. I was accepted and am currently 3 weeks off finishing my first year!

I have had an epiphany in the last few days to which I will share with you all tomorrow. It is something we all know but we all seem to forget so easily too. I call this my lightbulb moment....Michelle would be nodding her head and clapping her hands saying oh my gosh.....finally she gets it.

Until tomorrow.

Much love, luck and not too much food

Cath xoxo