Friday, April 27, 2012

Where have I been and where am I going!

Hey there lovely people!

Its been a week since my first dental work and only 4 days since my last visit. Mind you I am getting sick of having to eat all the runny foods. Its totally not enjoyable at all! I managed some sour dough bread in my soup last night but its still hard to concentrate on chewing when both sides of the mouth are affected and you can only chew with the little amount you have left in the front of your mouth. Pain is getting better and I finally moved off the codeine and onto just regular panadol and nurofen, The codeine did keep the pain at bay for longer though but I prefer to not be on that stuff for too long!

I am still struggling each day to make up the calories needed and seem to sit constantly on around 1000. Making me sad cause I know what the body will do if this keeps up but I am trying. I am however not hungry either so its hard to just keep forcing myself to keep eating when there really seems to be no room left. I even cut back on my protein shakes yesterday but still the same tally and way too much junk food. I even went for some KFC potato and gravy......I hate the stuff and havent been to KFC in years!! I will admit though that it did feel nice to eat something remotely normal for a change! Going to try fish again tonight and maybe some potato/sweet potato mash with it. You dont realise how much you miss food until you cant eat it. 

Those who think that I am in a great position to be losing weight are very wrong. I am in no way happy about having to drink all my meals and I am longing for that chewing action once again. I know I cant rush the healing process and the last thing I want to do is cause further infection in my mouth so just taking it day by day and one step at a time. I am really looking forward to my next visit to the dentist......not getting the last 6 teeth out from the top but to be finally getting my smile back! A few visits to the denture clinic to go before then though.

So we are in the final 2 weeks of 12WBT and for me I have had a tough one. I would say this has been my toughest round yet. You wait though till I get my new smile and new found confidence! I think the world will need to watch out cause Cath is on a mission and that mission is to be heard and to be known. Not just on facebook or on a really known. The struggle to make friends will be gone as I will no longer have shame and omg the most amazing thing is I cant wait to go out with hubby and just be us again for a little while and not mum and dad. 

This has been a tough bumpy ride but with each round of 12WBT I do, I learn something so big and new about myself. I have come so far since that very first post (which I still have) from my very first round back in 2010 from the 12WBT forums. So much has changed and I have grown from that person who was in a dark corner and felt like I had nothing to live for. I had tears reading that post yesterday as I remembered just how sad and low I was feeling and how the whole world seemed to be caving in on me. I am a long way from that original person and I still have a long way to go but I know that I can get there and finally, I can see the little glimmer of what I think is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Much love to you all

Cath xoxo

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