A break down or a break through?

Fridays Gym Session


Since there were alot away from Wednesday nights class, the PT decided to do yet another high cardio session. It was different to what we did on Wednesday but I could feel my body was still tired. I thought I would be fine once I got going. I was wrong! We did a slow jog to our local school and used there netball court. I dreaded what was planned since we had only been there Wednesday. It was more intense tonight since we had the real fit peeps back too. We were paired up & trust him to pair me up with the fittest person there.

Our missions was to do 1 min of jabs, ` min of uppercuts, & 1 min of air punches, followed by 20 pushups (if on knees or 10 if on feet) then it was off running 1.3km around the block of the school which is on a massively big hill. (the person boxing did this whilst the other stayed back) The person who wasnt running stayed back & did 2 full laps of netball court, then run to end of court & back (x3), 3/4 line & back (x3) 1/4 line & back (x3), 20 pushups, 20 situps 15 steps (on those horror steps from Wednesday). We had to do this twice each. The clincher though was when the PT said we were competing against eachother. The losing team would have to do 50 burpees, next in 30 burpees & first in 15 burpees. I almost wanted ot be sick then since as I said I was with not just the fittest person but also one that is so competitive.

So first round I decided to do boxing & running. I didnt do too bad & things were looking good. I wasnt coming first but I was at least keeping up. Cause I was slower thought than the others, I didnt really get any sort of recovery in between. On my partners turn to run, she wasw back so fast but I was still finishing off the exercises back at the school so held her up. I was starting to feel so tired but I pushed on. Came time for me to run again & that is when it all crumbled. I was running but I just wanted to cry. I pushed on as I was hurting, I could hardly breathe & that was scareing me as each breathe became harder & harder. I jsut couldnt get the air into my lungs. I felt like I was back to that first gym session and starting out. I ended up slowing back & walking to try & recover a little. It didnt last long cause then the thought of letting my partner down came into my head & I was devastated. I wasnt doing this for me, I was doing this for someone else too. I didnt want to do 50 burpees nor should she of had to either cause I am unfit. It wasnt fair. Why was I put with her. I got back to the school & it was her turn to box. I couldnt stop apologising to her & letting her know that I was trying so hard. She was great & said that it was fine. To me though it wasnt fair! Not for her that she was stuck with a turtle like me.

Each round she would get us in front, when it came my turn I would put us further behind. It was when it was her turn to run the second time after I had already done my 2 rounds that whilst doing my workout on the netball court I broke down. I couldnt breath, I was a mess. I was still going & pushing through but that wasnt the point. I was sore, I was aching & I didnt think I could do much more. once again I thought of the 50 burpees I was making my partner have to do with me all cause I was slow. That was it, I broke down. Tears were flowing down my cheeks. I felt like a wimp! The PT & the girls there were so wonderful though. The PT asked if I wanted to have a rest to which I said NO! I am not going to quit, I have to do this! then I got cheers from the girls who got me through the rest of the way. One of them even came back to do the exercises again with me so that I wasnt doing it alone. They were amazing and I think I even shocked my PT who couldnt beleive that I may not have been as fast as the others.....I FINISHED! and what was even better I had still done everything everyone else had done.

I came down from my bit of a high when I remembered that shi!te....50 burpees. I asked the PT if we did them here or back at the gym since we did lose. He said 'No burpees today!, you did well enough to not have to worry about them, as did everyone else" He also went on to say how happy he was with all of us.

I got thinking last night after chatting to a few ladies that are doing the 12WBT program & wondered what my breakthrough could be since with every break down there is a breakthrough so it is said. Well at the end of the day, I did finish. I didnt keep up & I didnt

To all my friends thank you so much for your tweets last night & also FB posts. I really needed them and do feel so much better knowing that I am making a difference to people, even if it is a small one. Now i guess its a point of keeping on, keeping on! I have a party to attend in Sydney on the 11th September and hopefully I will be able to go as well as get a bit of spoilage for all my aches, pains & sacrifices over the last 3 months.