WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?!
I mean the breakkie was healthy (poached egg, small slice of ham on a muffin) but why am I eating it so late and moreso why have I not yet even worked out? This has been something on my mind since I got well after being ill. My workouts have once again slowed and I am digging around for excuses. Todays excuse at this time is that hubby is called into work and it wouldnt be fair for me to work out without him.....For gods sake woman, get your thinking back to the clear cut way it was only a month ago!
So this is my dilemma but you know what.....its a good dilemma since I have picked up on it this time. I just need to find the strength to just get out there again. You know, beat the brain at its own mind games. I can feel the inner voice gaining in power and I need to get back on top of it before it totally takes over as this is where things went downhill last time. I will be the stronger one in this this time! I will win this battle.
My food however in all of this has been spot on. Last night was the first struggle I have had but you know what, there was zero junk food in the house. Even hubbies chocolate stash is gone! Green tea was failing to help the situation for a first time ever so I took myself off to bed. Although there is another bad habit creeping back in since it was almost 1am. I guess that would explain the not getting up this morning till after 9am but I will say that I was up at 7am with hubby getting his healthy lunch organised for work......silly thing I did was went back to bed instead of staying up and awake which is what I would have done only just a few short weeks ago.
So now what? how do I combat this demon that is creeping back in to my life? I know that it would only be a matter of time before the food would start to drift as well. I need to get on top of this NOW! I have been so excited to have hubby working out with me and now the time has come, I can feel myself back off. I think I worked out yesterday what the problem is and now I know, I can work on fighting that part of the demon too!
The thing is, I think I get embarrassed and am afraid that if I do an exercise wrong I will be laughed at. I realised this just yesterday while at mums doing zumba. It is only myself, mum and my little sister but you know what, I still have a complex that they are looking at me thinking to themselves that I am a weirdo! It was a wonderful thing to work this out half way through my workout cause I beat that inner voice I really did dance like noone was watching! 603 calories later, with sweat pouring off me and I felt great. You know what though, mum never said a word about how stupid I may have looked. It didnt matter as we were all on the same page. We all want to get fit and healthy. I even took my scales to her house so that she could weigh in and get all those fancy percentage things that it tells you.
I have learnt today that ~Try not to take things personally, what people often say is a reflection of them and not you.~
So today, I am going to wait for my brekkie to go down and you know what, I am going to get in and do a SSS. For those that dont know the lingo, that is a Super Saturday Session and I can tell you now, I think it might just hurt......no actually, it WILL hurt. Best of all though, I know I can do this and not have to even leave my house. You see, exercise can be done any place, anywhere.
Until next time, thats me checking out! Ill check back in later this afternoon with an update on how I went fighting this inner voice demon that seems to think its OK to sit down and do nothing since hey I am eating properly thats all I need right.....WRONG! I can do this!!
Cath xoxo
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