Sunday, August 15, 2010

Forgive me Mish & Meels for I have sinned

(rather than type this up again I have copied what I posted on the 12WBT forum!)

Yesterday was a bad day. It didn’t start well & it didn’t end well.

After being up all night with my very sick 11yo son, I knew that the day would be hard! I kept thinking of all my work & cals burnt during the triathalon on Friday hoping it would get me through! It wasn’t enough & I wasn’t strong enough to stop the inner voice :( I am devastated to think that all that time working out on Friday has now been consumed in 1 days eating. I just know that this week those scales are going to punish me! I deserve to be punished for my stupidity.

Breakkie wasnt so bad as I did have fruit. Lunch wasn’t all good though. 2 bits of cafe toast with a cup of green tea. Not too bad but not the best either. As the day dragged on & my son got sicker, I could feel myself becoming tired and exhausted. Here I was on my own trying to race around after a 21mth old toddler as well as be there for my boy & try to cool him down since he had a temp that wouldn’t break. Now things went downhill & just kept going down fast!

Instead of grabbing for a cold bottle of water from the fridge, I grabbed for the coke, instead of grabbing for an apple, I had a small piece of dark chocolate then after a trip to the hospital with my son I just gave up trying to fight. I had a maccas heart approved (or so they say) sweet chilli wrap with seared chicken. If I had of stopped at that it would have been fine but nooooooooo, I had to have 4 wicked wings too! About the only things I did do that was ok last night was wash it all down with water!

I don’t even want to begin to work out the calories I ate yesterday but I know that I am devastated. I cant believe that I let myself become that weak to the point where I was making bad choices. It was sleep deprivation & exhaustion that put the weight on me in the first place! I should know this & I should know the signs. Last night though I gave up all to easily.

I am sorry Mish & Meels for letting you down.I am sorry to myself for letting me down. I shouldn’t be doing this stuff. I should be aiming to get to my goal weight not falling off the wagon! I guess though we learn from each time we fall. We pick ourselve up, dust ourselves off & we hit the road again! This is important I feel. It helps shape us for those times when yes one night over indulgence may happen BUT its the getting back on the clean road quickly that counts.

Cath xoxo

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