Thursday, June 3, 2010

What to do and where to go from here? So confused

Wednesday – Shopping Day! My favourite day of the fortnight since it means PAYDAY! Went into Rebel who wouldn’t even offer to price match the online offers I had for either the FT4 or the FT7 heart rate monitors so went across the road to The Warehouse. Gentleman there was lovely and said he couldn’t price match but he could do it for online price +$10. So I got myself the FT4 for $135. Dont be confused with the F4 as I think that is the older model and now replaced with the FT4. I was happy with that deal as he also set it all up ready to go for me. Wouldnt have got that from the online store....hehe.

Target also had a sale on ladies clothes, some up to 40% off. Grabbed myself some comfy pant, a shirt and a light weight jacket. I think I should be set now for this 12WBT. Cant help but feel guilty though that I am spending all this money on me and not the rest of the family. Spent the rest of the afternoon wondering if I was just being stupid and greedy. Still managed to get out and do another 3km walk. Nothing on yesterdays 4.67km though. Time is getting better and im also getting into a jog at times too. Still not sure if I am doing the right thing though. I cant even bring myself to put my goals in since they just don’t seem important enough to warrant being a goal even!. What to do, what to do.

Thursday – Well still not up to date with uni but very close. Have it down to 2 reports and an open book math exam. Feeling a little better but also feeling very down on myself today. Pre-season take 4 has just gone up for 12WBT. I haven’t even started pre season task 3 let alone thinking about 4. Its all getting too much. I know uni will be out of the way by the weekend but until then I cant help but feel overwhelmed and run down. I noticed myself yesterday while I was out shopping that I didn’t even really eat whilst out and when I did it was just a salad with no meat since I know that would be within my cals. Its all just doing my head in. I need to sit back I think and not be so tough on myself. I have given up everything. I only eat at breakkie lunch and dinner really since I don’t even know if the snacks I have are ok but when really hungry ill grab an apple. Im not even coming close to my daily cal limit atm. Daily cal limit is 1200 yet I am only managing 1000 sometimes less. Funny to think only a couple of weeks ago I was easily eating 1350 as well as eating back my exercise cals. That was when I was only looking at cals in the foods so was even putting choccy or yummy treats in there as long as they fit in.

Will write more later as this is doing my head in just thinking about it and at the moment I could just throw it all in....uni included so that the stresses all just went away.

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