What started as a simple status on my facebook fitness page, ended up becoming a story and something I thought need to be shared here on my blog!
So facebook asks me "what have you been up to?" and I think, yes, what have I been up to? Well, its been a week of mind games, highs and lows. I took a dreaded progress pic and really never should have gone there. Looking at it, I cant see any change but I feel the changes. Nope not good enough!! I am working my butt off in the home gym 4 days a week but where is my progress? Where is my definition that is starting to show? Nope, not happening!!
So it comes back to the question, what have you been up to? Well to answer honestly, I have done nothing! Yep thats right...NOTHING!! and why have I done nothing, cause my stupid mind has won this week. Things like, you are working as hard as everyone else, but where is your results? you are super clean with your diet but where are you lost kilos? Sound familiar to anyone?
Yep, I am lost somewhere on the highway of who cares and why bother. Trying so hard to get back onto hard'n up street though but its tough when you feel like you are getting left behind.
So what now? I sit here after not working out for over a week (other than a stint here and there on the treadie), feeling frumpy and lazy but kind of proud that food is at least not the major problem. Need to get the headspace back that I had in the first couple of weeks but it can be hard. I need to find a 'me' hour in my day. That one hour where I can just workout freely and not have the stress of 'but this hour could have been used on an assessment' or 'this hour could have been used to spend extra time with the kids'.
So today, I will find my 'me' time and if I have to, write it up on the whiteboard of things to do so that everyone knows when my me hour/time is!! The challenge is about to head into a new phase after next week and I am already a week behind :( I cant change what has happened in the past, but I can change what is going to happen in the future. I cant help but worry though, this week away will be detrimental to my success and I cant help but feel like its almost not worth it since I am now behind where before I was in front.
Have a great day everyone! For me, its assignment work first, then some me time and finally, its time to remember why we are worth it. We are important and most of all, we are loved. Keep on, keeping on and we will get there.