So weigh in day for week 1.....bought back a lot of struggles that I usually face when it comes time to stand on the scales. I stand there pondering and thinking about the week just been, what I have achieved (or haven't achieved) and finally will those numbers fall and how will I deal with it if they dont. I can stand there for what literally feels like an eternity just analysing everything. That is my downfall......I over analyse EVERYTHING! Things that are good, I basically find what is bad and talk myself out of whatever it is.
Today though, I got up, went to the bathroom....took a deep breathe......
It was an 800g LOSS!! I was stoked. I need to have more confidence in myself since I had done everything right these last few days. I mean heck, I am getting out of bed at 5am in the morning (and I am so not a morning person). That in itself is a major achievement. I even commented to a friend that I walk with the other morning that I hadn't seen a sunrise unless it was walking home from a pub back when I was young and silly.
So there it is, what a start! The groundwork has been set. I need to have faith in myself and be honest. I would have to be silly to think that my inner voice is right all the time especially when she is saying that just one piece wont hurt, or just one glass of coke is ok....the best one though that I am learning to beat very fast.....you worked out this morning and have spare calories there......not anymore! This is tough love Cath in the house and I wont take listening to that ever again. Its that inner talk that has me here overweight and unhappy. Its that inner talk that had me regain the weight I worked so hard to lose 12 months ago.
Its my time to shine and be a better role model to my children. During my journey, I felt so guilty with every person that signed up to the program because of me being so inspirational......I dont feel inspirational......I feel more like a fraud. Obviously these people see something that I dont and that something is what I want to find. That fire I found burning during last years first 12WBT round.
It is time for me to be honest to me, to Michelle, to my family. I need to produce something big this round cause I feel if I dont then I have failed the most important person in this equation.......
Walk the talk....that is what I need to do and with just a tad of support and a lot of trust which I already have in Michelle and the program.....I might just come out of this ok.
PS Listening to Michelles intro tonight on the live feed felt like it was written just for me. Certainly shut that voice up that was telling me to get chocolate which is funny since there is zero chocolate in this house (yep even hubbies stash is gone!)