Some of you will remember me from round 2 & 3 last year while for others I will be getting to know you for the first time.
I am a 34 wife & mummy of 4 children, Stephanie (16), Ashlea (15), Hayden (11) & Matilda (2). So I have the full deal of teenagers through to toddler!. Now I guess I need to get to my story.
I first signed up back in round 2. I was an unhappy person who was in a very dark place. Michelle helped pull me out of my shell & make me realise that I am not only important & special but I am also a person who is strong, able and for the first time ever, part of a team who all had the same goal! Michelle has taught me how to eat properly, exercise and be able to wear clothes that aren't the size of a small house. I did join up in round 3 but with Christmas and also being given notice to move from where we had lived for 2.5 years, I became complacent. My 6 days at the gym dwindled to not at all, my healthy eating blew out to eating what I wanted, the no eating after 8pm rule that Mish helped me put in place for myself was broken & here I am now.
Since the end of round 2, complacency & just sheer failure on my part has put me back further behind than when I started round 2! I started round 2 at 76.8kg. At the end of round 2, I had dropped to 70.3kg as well as gone from a size 16 to a size 12. Fast forward to today. I weighed myself this morning & cried at the numbers on the scales. 78.3kg! That means since the end of September I have gained 8kg! 8 whole kilos have gone back onto this body. I am almost the weight I was full term when I had Matilda back in 2008, I am disappointed and ashamed that I let Mish down BUT I can fix this. I have taken the first step to reclaiming my life once again. This time though, it will be for good! I know how good it feels to be fit & healthy, I dont like the feeling of fat, frumpy & weighed down!
I know where I went wrong and that was letting my mind rule my heart. I knew not going to gym & not eating properly would eventually catch up with me and it has! I can not dwell on this though. As a wise person once told me back in round 2, I cannot change my past but I can make my future look alot brighter. One thing I have kept my word on to Michelle and that is I have not had KFC since my little incident back in round 2. I promised then that there wouldn't be anymore & there hasn't. The smell makes me feel ill!
I want to thank Michelle for allowing me once again to be part of her team and I also want to thank all of you, my 12WBT family. It is all of you who make this journey amazing. I look forward to sharing this time with you all.
Mwah! xoxo
Cath
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Time to reignite the passion!
Today I plan to do my housework whilst listening to all the podcasts from Mish over the last 2 rounds. I admit that I lost it during round 3, but this time I am getting a head start on mindset. I want to do this, I can do this & I will achieve high! I am wanting to do the new lean & strong program but to do that, then these added kilos need to go!!
I am also planning to do the jail break run on Australia day with my 14yo (well she wiill actually turn 15 that day) daughter. This means no more fatty boombah! I have had my fun through December. I became complacient & now I am paying the price. Time to get back on track & remember that I planned to lose it for good!! Not lose it for a little while.
So here are the cold hard facts. The numbers tell the truth & they show me that yep, I have become a lazy assed idiot once again. You would think that I would have learnt by now but nope! Losing weight is a tough journey but I have one weapon which is huge on my side & they have been there all along.....I just havent reached out to them like I should. My 12WBT family are always there. I pushed them away when I started falling off the wagon & instead of reaching an arm out for help to be pulled back on, I sat down on the side of the road not wanting the help. Look what that got me though! Right back where I started from. I also have the added bonus of the fact I am already fit ;) That surely has to work in my favour!!
All done! EEK! I am not going to cry. I am just going to deal with it. I have lost it before I can do it again! This time I have the added bonus of already being fit ;) Will weigh in on Wednesday but only do measurements every 4 weeks (unless I need a pick me up of course)
SW: 76.5kg
CW: 76.5kg
WLTW: 0
GW1 - 75.5kg
GW2 - 74kg
GW3 - 73kg
GW4 - 72kg
GW5 - 70kg
GW6 - 68kg
Final Goal - Between 65 & 68 kg
10%GW - 68.85kg
Chest: W1: 86cm
Waist: W1: 81cm
Hips: W1: 99cm
Thigh measurement distance from knee: 33cm
(R) Thigh: W1: 56cm
(L) Thigh: W1: 57.5cm
BMI: 27.1
Body Fat: 32.52%
Here is to 2011 and a new start!! The fun is over, or is it just beginning? I think my form of fun differs from many ;)
I am also planning to do the jail break run on Australia day with my 14yo (well she wiill actually turn 15 that day) daughter. This means no more fatty boombah! I have had my fun through December. I became complacient & now I am paying the price. Time to get back on track & remember that I planned to lose it for good!! Not lose it for a little while.
So here are the cold hard facts. The numbers tell the truth & they show me that yep, I have become a lazy assed idiot once again. You would think that I would have learnt by now but nope! Losing weight is a tough journey but I have one weapon which is huge on my side & they have been there all along.....I just havent reached out to them like I should. My 12WBT family are always there. I pushed them away when I started falling off the wagon & instead of reaching an arm out for help to be pulled back on, I sat down on the side of the road not wanting the help. Look what that got me though! Right back where I started from. I also have the added bonus of the fact I am already fit ;) That surely has to work in my favour!!
All done! EEK! I am not going to cry. I am just going to deal with it. I have lost it before I can do it again! This time I have the added bonus of already being fit ;) Will weigh in on Wednesday but only do measurements every 4 weeks (unless I need a pick me up of course)
SW: 76.5kg
CW: 76.5kg
WLTW: 0
GW1 - 75.5kg
GW2 - 74kg
GW3 - 73kg
GW4 - 72kg
GW5 - 70kg
GW6 - 68kg
Final Goal - Between 65 & 68 kg
10%GW - 68.85kg
Chest: W1: 86cm
Waist: W1: 81cm
Hips: W1: 99cm
Thigh measurement distance from knee: 33cm
(R) Thigh: W1: 56cm
(L) Thigh: W1: 57.5cm
BMI: 27.1
Body Fat: 32.52%
Here is to 2011 and a new start!! The fun is over, or is it just beginning? I think my form of fun differs from many ;)
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Day 13 and the week that was!
Well its been over a week since my last blog but it has also been a very busy time. Have been doing a little soul searching, falling off the wagon & am now trying hard to get back to where I was before.
Its time to say goodbye to old habits that continue to rear there ugly head but its so hard! Tea cake of all things has become a weekness & once again coke is creeping back into my diet.
NOT GOOD!!
I know what I have to do but the thing is getting back to the headspace to do it. I am doing gym still whilst the PT is away travelling the world & am loving the classes that we are putting together without the trainer there. It shows how much we have actually learnt from him & especially myself who has only been going there since round 2 & already I have done up a couple of class sessions! I have achieved so much that I should be proud of & that I should be able to easily stay above board but things happen & we all (well most of us) fall off at sometime or another.
I sit here now knowing that there is a full mudcake sitting on my fridge, half a tea cake sitting on my bench, a pack of bikkies sitting on the microwave & 2 bottles of coke sitting in the cupboard. When I am finished this blog post I will bag it all up & hubby can take it to share with his coworkers tomorrow at work! I need it gone otherwise I will just eat it all & I know I will!my strength to say no has faded over the last few weeks & I am not sure as to why or what I have done to have it change. Maybe cause I let my guard down in Sydney although even then I made the healthy choices whilst eating out so I cant blame something that was 3ish weeks ago. This is a mindset that I have got myself in & since I have got myself out of it before, its time to do it again!
I missed adding my weight in stats for last week which were quite pleasing considering I went out drinking for my birthday on the Saturday night. I managed a 600g loss & that puts me back at 70.9kg. Still 300g higher than when I finished round 2 but at least its getting back down there. I hope to see the 60's tick over soon but eating & drinking the way I am that wont ever happen!!
Time for some tough love I think & JFDI. I need to get back out the door on off gym days, I need to look at my goals & see where I am at since afterall I am only 2 weeks away from my first lot of goals! I need to get my head back where it should be. If I am to be one in this little town to wear my newly acquired gym shirt with pride to show off what healthy eating & exercise can achieve, I need to get back to following the plan & back to remember what Mish tells us to do!!
Eat clean & train hard
Cath xoxo
Its time to say goodbye to old habits that continue to rear there ugly head but its so hard! Tea cake of all things has become a weekness & once again coke is creeping back into my diet.
NOT GOOD!!
I know what I have to do but the thing is getting back to the headspace to do it. I am doing gym still whilst the PT is away travelling the world & am loving the classes that we are putting together without the trainer there. It shows how much we have actually learnt from him & especially myself who has only been going there since round 2 & already I have done up a couple of class sessions! I have achieved so much that I should be proud of & that I should be able to easily stay above board but things happen & we all (well most of us) fall off at sometime or another.
I sit here now knowing that there is a full mudcake sitting on my fridge, half a tea cake sitting on my bench, a pack of bikkies sitting on the microwave & 2 bottles of coke sitting in the cupboard. When I am finished this blog post I will bag it all up & hubby can take it to share with his coworkers tomorrow at work! I need it gone otherwise I will just eat it all & I know I will!my strength to say no has faded over the last few weeks & I am not sure as to why or what I have done to have it change. Maybe cause I let my guard down in Sydney although even then I made the healthy choices whilst eating out so I cant blame something that was 3ish weeks ago. This is a mindset that I have got myself in & since I have got myself out of it before, its time to do it again!
I missed adding my weight in stats for last week which were quite pleasing considering I went out drinking for my birthday on the Saturday night. I managed a 600g loss & that puts me back at 70.9kg. Still 300g higher than when I finished round 2 but at least its getting back down there. I hope to see the 60's tick over soon but eating & drinking the way I am that wont ever happen!!
Time for some tough love I think & JFDI. I need to get back out the door on off gym days, I need to look at my goals & see where I am at since afterall I am only 2 weeks away from my first lot of goals! I need to get my head back where it should be. If I am to be one in this little town to wear my newly acquired gym shirt with pride to show off what healthy eating & exercise can achieve, I need to get back to following the plan & back to remember what Mish tells us to do!!
Eat clean & train hard
Cath xoxo
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Day 3 - Happy Birthday too Me!
So here it is! The day I turn 34. Now how to celebrate? All the kidlets are at school, Matilda is at daycare, hubby is at work....its just another day in my household! Have had to deal with some issues but working through it & hope it resolves soon.
So onto my day!
Had to eat mighty clean all day (which surprisingly I did!) my special treat was the yummiest piece of carrot cake from our local bakers with a skim hot choc! Oh divine!
Still cant have this without burning the cals right! So walked 3km in morning & another close to 3km in the arvo! Not sure on calorie burn as didnt have HRM on BUT I did work up a huge sweat ;)
Have exercised everyday this week & hope to keep it up! What we start we must finish!
So onto my day!
Had to eat mighty clean all day (which surprisingly I did!) my special treat was the yummiest piece of carrot cake from our local bakers with a skim hot choc! Oh divine!
Still cant have this without burning the cals right! So walked 3km in morning & another close to 3km in the arvo! Not sure on calorie burn as didnt have HRM on BUT I did work up a huge sweat ;)
Have exercised everyday this week & hope to keep it up! What we start we must finish!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Days 1 & 2 - This is it!
Day 1 - So I was awoken several times throughout the night with a sick bubba. She has a blocked nose & an annoying cough poor little thing! Day started at 5am when alarm went off for hubby for work. I didnt mind since real estate was coming out to do house inspection as they do every 6 months. Speaking of house inspection, I have spent the last 4 days scrubbing, wiping, cleaning & also catching up on washing since the weather has been craptacular. So glad we have some glorious weather!
So getting back to it all, day started early. Had myself a yummo bowl of porridge for breakkie & washed it down with a cup of green tea. Ready to face the day now! Anyhow got it all done & inspection went so well that it was a less than 5 min visit of walk in say yep all good & they walked out!! 4 days of scrubbing, cleaning, washing etc & they didnt even look! Ah well now I get to enjoy a VERY clean house & what better way to start of my next round of 12WBT than without mess.
I had gym class at6pm & it was the first class without our PT! It was actually quite fun & was more a group of girls out for an arvo run/workout. We did some laps of the AFL oval, some sprints then finished it all off with some ab work. All up it was a 953 cal workout sesh so I am happy with that.
Ate clean all day other than the couple of bikkies that slipped in but still under cal count so not all a disaster. Still have to stop that munching though! Have to also work on getting to bed at a decent hour!
Day 2 - Once again woken by the alarm at 5am but didnt get up this time. So glad I have older kids as they got themselves off to school & Tilly slept through until 9.30 as did I *gasp* Havent been feeling the best over the last few day & think I may be coming down with what Tilly has. Trying to soldier on though & obviously must have needed the sleep too! I even laid down on the lounge today whilst Tilly slept & had another 2hour sleep then! Once up though I had to get the brain & body in the right mood to JFDI & get out the door.
I got myself into workout gear.....half way there so thats good right! WRONG! It still took me another hour of arguing with my inner teenager of how far I would walk or how long or how many cals burnt to aim for before I looked at the time, realised how late it was & finally got out the door! I managed to do 3km pushing Tilly in the pram uphill & down & burnt 400 cals so it didnt turn out a total loss. Tilly loved it too so as long as weather holds out I think ill make that a daily thing.
Been good with food but still slack with water so have to work on that area.
Its my Birthday tomorrow so red flag day for me! No cake but will be sure to get myself a nice big bowl of strawberries, banana & yoghurt ;) Who would have thought it would take me 34 years to realise how unhealthy my life has been! Well I am just so happy that I have found that healthy & exercise is good for the mind, body & soul. Better late than never! Happy 34th to me for tomorrow :)
Cath xoxo
So getting back to it all, day started early. Had myself a yummo bowl of porridge for breakkie & washed it down with a cup of green tea. Ready to face the day now! Anyhow got it all done & inspection went so well that it was a less than 5 min visit of walk in say yep all good & they walked out!! 4 days of scrubbing, cleaning, washing etc & they didnt even look! Ah well now I get to enjoy a VERY clean house & what better way to start of my next round of 12WBT than without mess.
I had gym class at6pm & it was the first class without our PT! It was actually quite fun & was more a group of girls out for an arvo run/workout. We did some laps of the AFL oval, some sprints then finished it all off with some ab work. All up it was a 953 cal workout sesh so I am happy with that.
Ate clean all day other than the couple of bikkies that slipped in but still under cal count so not all a disaster. Still have to stop that munching though! Have to also work on getting to bed at a decent hour!
Day 2 - Once again woken by the alarm at 5am but didnt get up this time. So glad I have older kids as they got themselves off to school & Tilly slept through until 9.30 as did I *gasp* Havent been feeling the best over the last few day & think I may be coming down with what Tilly has. Trying to soldier on though & obviously must have needed the sleep too! I even laid down on the lounge today whilst Tilly slept & had another 2hour sleep then! Once up though I had to get the brain & body in the right mood to JFDI & get out the door.
I got myself into workout gear.....half way there so thats good right! WRONG! It still took me another hour of arguing with my inner teenager of how far I would walk or how long or how many cals burnt to aim for before I looked at the time, realised how late it was & finally got out the door! I managed to do 3km pushing Tilly in the pram uphill & down & burnt 400 cals so it didnt turn out a total loss. Tilly loved it too so as long as weather holds out I think ill make that a daily thing.
Been good with food but still slack with water so have to work on that area.
Its my Birthday tomorrow so red flag day for me! No cake but will be sure to get myself a nice big bowl of strawberries, banana & yoghurt ;) Who would have thought it would take me 34 years to realise how unhealthy my life has been! Well I am just so happy that I have found that healthy & exercise is good for the mind, body & soul. Better late than never! Happy 34th to me for tomorrow :)
Cath xoxo
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Alright whats the go here? Where has my positivity gone?
Had a bit of a breakdown today when thinking about all that I hadnt achieved over the last 12 weeks. Have been listening to so many talk about doing City to surf or some other fun run or even a 7hr boot camp. It got me thinking
"WHAT DID I DO THAT MADE ME STAND OUT?"
Answer to that is nothing. I did absolutly nothing that made me stand out in the crowd. I did plenty that I am proud of myself such as being able to run my whole 1km, doing my own triathalon, getting on the cross trainer & pushing out 14km to match up with the city to surf peeps BUT it was nothing it contrast to what many other 12WBT participants did.
Why am I questioning my achievements? I should be happy with how far I have come right? Well why am I so down about not achieving higher? I missed our local fun run which is a 9km run from Lake to Lagoon as it was held on Sunday & I was travelling home from Sydney. It was a tough choice for me to make to give up as it is something my whole gym class entered.....every one of them but not me.
It is easy for people to say, just enter these runs etc next year but it all takes money! Money that we dont currently have. I could do my own run of course, but where is the fun in doing it on my own. No sense of fun nor achievement. Just boredom & no support to finish.
So that brings me to now. I have to be happy with where I am now. I have to be happy that I am being the best I can be. I have to be happy that I may only have 5-6kg to lose & there is no prizes to be gained from this program other than self satisfaction. I am thinking that I should have not wasted money on doing round 3 since I will admit I am a competitive person & knowing that I am always at the low end of the scale should make me happy but in the same token I feel so disappointed when my losses are so tiny. I am feeling that I am just wasting the time of Michelle, of Amelia, of the 12WBT team/family. I has such a wonderful weekend yet now I seem to have hit rock bottom & feeling lower than ever. I am not worthy of the praise & compliments that I have gotten since I have done nothing to deserve them.
So why am I feeling like this? Why cant I just get on with it, get the job done & applaud those that do have the weight to lose? I have met some pretty amazing people over the weekend & I do hope to form lifelong friendships with them but & there is always a but isnt there....lol. But I can never achieve the highs that alot of these fabulous people have already achieved or will achieve. I have to be happy with me & I have to be happy for who I am. I need to be able to take a compliment & I need to believe the person who is giving me said compliment actually means it & is not just saying it to be nice.
Must find that positive Cath that has been around since Sydney. She has disappeared & has left the old Cath that is doubtful & always questioning herself. If you see her please send her back as I am currently feeling very worn down & tired. I also think once this house inspection is over on Monday, perhaps I will start to feel a bit better! I will be 34 on the 22nd & want to be the happy person that has been here since Friday! Even looking through pics of the weekend are upsetting as here I was thinking that I have 5kg to go when really its prolly alot more since my hips/thighs are just ginormous! I am still the frumpy person I was last round albeit in smaller sized clothes!
All the excitement of Round 2 is over & the reality of round 3 is setting in. I failed not just myself but I broke my promise I made to Michelle in the final 4 weeks. Even Mish was disappointed in me then & I felt that when the raw truth of me not putting in 100% was told. I am so worried that I am going to fail again even though I dont want it to happen!
Until tomorrow, eat clean & train hard!
Cath xoxo
"WHAT DID I DO THAT MADE ME STAND OUT?"
Answer to that is nothing. I did absolutly nothing that made me stand out in the crowd. I did plenty that I am proud of myself such as being able to run my whole 1km, doing my own triathalon, getting on the cross trainer & pushing out 14km to match up with the city to surf peeps BUT it was nothing it contrast to what many other 12WBT participants did.
Why am I questioning my achievements? I should be happy with how far I have come right? Well why am I so down about not achieving higher? I missed our local fun run which is a 9km run from Lake to Lagoon as it was held on Sunday & I was travelling home from Sydney. It was a tough choice for me to make to give up as it is something my whole gym class entered.....every one of them but not me.
It is easy for people to say, just enter these runs etc next year but it all takes money! Money that we dont currently have. I could do my own run of course, but where is the fun in doing it on my own. No sense of fun nor achievement. Just boredom & no support to finish.
So that brings me to now. I have to be happy with where I am now. I have to be happy that I am being the best I can be. I have to be happy that I may only have 5-6kg to lose & there is no prizes to be gained from this program other than self satisfaction. I am thinking that I should have not wasted money on doing round 3 since I will admit I am a competitive person & knowing that I am always at the low end of the scale should make me happy but in the same token I feel so disappointed when my losses are so tiny. I am feeling that I am just wasting the time of Michelle, of Amelia, of the 12WBT team/family. I has such a wonderful weekend yet now I seem to have hit rock bottom & feeling lower than ever. I am not worthy of the praise & compliments that I have gotten since I have done nothing to deserve them.
So why am I feeling like this? Why cant I just get on with it, get the job done & applaud those that do have the weight to lose? I have met some pretty amazing people over the weekend & I do hope to form lifelong friendships with them but & there is always a but isnt there....lol. But I can never achieve the highs that alot of these fabulous people have already achieved or will achieve. I have to be happy with me & I have to be happy for who I am. I need to be able to take a compliment & I need to believe the person who is giving me said compliment actually means it & is not just saying it to be nice.
Must find that positive Cath that has been around since Sydney. She has disappeared & has left the old Cath that is doubtful & always questioning herself. If you see her please send her back as I am currently feeling very worn down & tired. I also think once this house inspection is over on Monday, perhaps I will start to feel a bit better! I will be 34 on the 22nd & want to be the happy person that has been here since Friday! Even looking through pics of the weekend are upsetting as here I was thinking that I have 5kg to go when really its prolly alot more since my hips/thighs are just ginormous! I am still the frumpy person I was last round albeit in smaller sized clothes!
All the excitement of Round 2 is over & the reality of round 3 is setting in. I failed not just myself but I broke my promise I made to Michelle in the final 4 weeks. Even Mish was disappointed in me then & I felt that when the raw truth of me not putting in 100% was told. I am so worried that I am going to fail again even though I dont want it to happen!
Until tomorrow, eat clean & train hard!
Cath xoxo
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Pre Season Task 6 - Kitchen Makeover
I am proud to say that I went to clean out my cupboards but only the essentials were in there anyhow! There was no junk food, no chips, no soft drink & not even a bottle of cordial since we now have ourselves a fancy water cooler!
Looks like when going to the shop I am going to take close to exact money so that the junk food isnt got as a spur of the moment thing ever again since that is how the junk gets in here now!
My bench always has a bowl of fresh fruit on it rather than packst of bikkies etc.
I have obviously learnt something from round 2 but need to stop the shopping snack trips!
My bench always has a bowl of fresh fruit on it rather than packst of bikkies etc.
I have obviously learnt something from round 2 but need to stop the shopping snack trips!
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